Friday, August 26, 2011

Get Out!


Almost done! I'd spent the last six months re-doing my house. Before that, I'd hired a contractor to transform the concrete walled-dungeon downstairs into a beautiful, bright utility room that could be used as a fourth bedroom or family room. Then, I had repainted the entire house myself. My stairwell covering five levels was now a neutral two-tone beige. It was quite the radical change from the battlefield-red and white that I had personally enjoyed for more than ten years. Neighbours of mine had commented on my new kitchen cupboards when in fact, they were not new. I had refurbished them myself. I had received certificates of inspections and approvals from the Electrical Safety Authority of Ontario and the Gas Utility Company. I was stressed-out and exhausted. The only thing left for me to do before calling the Realtor was to get rid of my unwanted visitors.





They liked to come out and play every evening about 11:30 pm after the lights were turned off. They came from under the floorboards in my kitchen cupboards. That's were I set and armed the heavy ammunition I'd bought from the local hardware store. I used Kraft peanut butter as bait because I know that that's what mice like best. I planned an all-out assault by placing a dozen or so mouse traps all along the walls. My attack was all set! I examined the battlefield of death the next morning. Not one single trap had gone-off. Further, the mice had licked-off all the peanut butter without without setting off the triggering mechanism. For three consecutive days and nights the mice took me for a ride. I concluded that I was dealing with very intelligent mice with an extremely light body-weight. I wasn't going to let them get the better of me. They had to GET OUT!


My research on the Internet said mothballs are a good mouse repellent so I bought a box. I put a few under the cupboards, between baseboards and floor cracks and inside little tiny holes that I couldn't fit my little finger into. I saw a few droppings the next morning which indicated to me that they had come during the night but it troubled me that I was not able to smell the mothballs at all - so I dumped the rest of the box into the nicks and crannies and under the floor boards as well. That seemed to do the job.


The Sunday morning following, Mandy and Chris rang my front door bell. The very instant I began to open the door, Mandy covered her nose with her hand and the lapel of her jacket and said, “What on earth is that foul stench? I can't come in.” I said that it must be the mothballs. “That's it” she said. “Get rid of that awful smell!” It appears that friends and neighbours were repulsed by the stench of mothballs as well, especially the women, who have developed the sense of smell to far higher levels than men. I knew, however, that I had to remove every single mothball before I could list my house for sale. It took me almost a month to decontaminate the house. There was no end to it.


I finally listed my house for sale and I had viewings planned all week long. However, I was relaxing watching TV late one night when two of them came back. They started running around in circles right in the centre of my living room playing “catch-me-if-you-can”. While trying to decide what to do, I spied my tennis raquette leaning against the love seat right next to me. I was in a killing mood. I quietly took hold of the raquette and bashed one, and then the other, until they were dead. I sold the house the next day.






1 comment:

Brad Evans said...

You do have a diminished smell sense. You should be careful about spoiled food. You should get a pet with a good nose to test your dinner. A pet mouse perhaps?

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