Oh Rats!

If you've been reading my stories you've probably formed an opinion of the kind of person I am. You have probably gotten to know my likes and dislikes. For example, you will know by now that my number one love, apart from my family of course, is motorcycles and anything else that goes on two wheels that you don't have to push or pedal. My number two love is ships, not boats. I'm not talking about the rinky-dink speedboats that buzz up the Ottawa river for ten minutes and then back down again when they need gas. I'm talking about real ships with names like the HMS Hood, Prince of Wales or Hermes. My extra-special favourites are the dreadnoughts of centuries past, you know, the 104 gun men-of- war, like Admiral Lord Nelson's Flagship, the HMS Victory, shown here. I've always carried with me a passion for the Navy even though I never served with the armed forces. In retrospect, I wish I had. That is why I made my way to Portsmouth on England's south shore to get a closer look at what they had. ...Boy, did I get a big surprise!

I was staying with family in the north of England when I took a delightful train trip to Portsmouth via London. The countryside is out of this world. Whereas the beauty of Canada lies in its raw virgin vastness, the English countryside is miniature in comparison and is honed and manicured right down to the last blade of grass. Portsmouth itself is awesome. It's crammed with history. If I dropped a quarter in the grass I would expect to pick-up a few musket-balls while trying to find it.

After checking into my hotel I took a stroll towards the docks through the centre of town. I walked past an attractive church park with rolling lawns and stone pathways lined with benches where workers go to enjoy their lunches. In the centre of the park was a quaint old church reminiscent of those you see in the old WWII movies. The view was delightful! I wanted to stay but I was too anxious to see the docks.

Nelson's flagship "HMS Victory" was moored tall and proud and open to guided tours. I never knew that after his death at the battle of Trafalgar, the ship's surgeon got all the store's whiskey and pickled his body in a barrel to get him back to England. Fascinating stuff! Also, the feared "HMS Warrior" half-powered by steam and half by sail, was similarly moored, a little further on. That battle-wagon went on a world tour just to show-off its awesome power. I was slowly sinking back into the nineteenth century and I was enjoying every minute of the dream. Anyway, I'm sorry, I digress.

What a magnificent day! I started walking back to my hotel at dusk. Soon, it was dark. The heavy wrought-iron gates of the church park were closed now and locked. I guess they didn't want trespassers there during the night. As I was walking past the gates I saw something very strange! At least I think I did. I felt sure that I had seen the entire lawn move. It didn't make sense so I took a couple of steps backwards to get a better look. At the same time, a car, making a turn around the bend swept the park with its high-beams. Oh! What a surprise! I saw a thousand rats standing on their hind legs with their red eyes reflecting the car's headlights. They were all over the lawns. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

On my way to the train station the next day I past by the church park once more. I saw no rats at all. All I could see were the locals sat on the benches enjoying their brown bag lunches and their flasks of hot tea. They were totally oblivious to the events of the night before. I waved to a group of them, and I said, "Enjoy your lunch folks – it looks so delicious – have a nice day".